Writing

So I've had this love/hate relationship with writing, and this blog was supposed tip the balance to the love side. It's had mixed results.

I'd love to say that I've just simply been too busy to write. But I haven't been too busy to keep up with "How I Met Your Mother," a television show that I'm ashamed to admit that I watch.

I'd like to say that it's all about work, that it consumes my energy, creativity, and by the time I get home, I am sapped of any will at all to look at a computer, much less sit and think of something profound to say.  That's not true either. I get tired, but there always can be some words. 

Maybe if I were to go all confessional, I might say that it's classic laziness that keeps me away from here. But that ain't quite right either.

If I want to look the truth right in the eyes, I guess I would have to say that I haven't written because I don't like to write. Well, it goes a little deeper than that. The reason I don't like to write is because I don't really like my writing. 

This is a self-confidence, self-esteem thing, and I guess that it's been with me for all my life. I don't like my writing because I think it's crap, just like it almost hurts to look at a picture of myself because I feel so homely when I do. When I read my own words, I cringe. 

Here's the thing, I've decided not to care about any of that anymore. So once again I've made this little promise to myself to start blogging steadily, for what, the umpteenth time? I started out this blog in an effort to write about my exercise misadventures, and I've done some of that.

If you like that stuff (and I'm pretending that someone is reading this), please check out my blog at Wisconsin Outdoor Fun. That's a work-related blog, and I'm making a special effort there. It's located here: http://blogs.wisconsinoutdoorfun.com/blogs/wof/wofuhligblog/.

You should know, dear imaginary audience, that although I am making a special effort to update this blog, I'm also making an extra special effort to keep that one updated. Why? I've got a secret plan.

You should also know that in the past I've used this personal blog as rough draft for that blog, and that will likely continue. And sometimes, I will take posts from that blog and throw them in here. So if you read them both, you might notice overlap, and get sick of me, and who can blame you? I'm sorry about that, imaginary reader. It's not that I don't care about you, I do. But I can't afford to care so much so that I don't do anything anymore. Does that make sense?

If you're going to read only one blog. Read that one. You'll help with my special plan.

Anyway, this blog also should be different from that blog. That one is work work, and it will have somewhat of a more professional tone. Not that this is going to vastly unprofessional or anything like that. Can't afford to go all the way there. But this will be fun work, I hope, and it will be more personal, and I'm envisioning that it will be more about the struggles for creativity, trying to stave off depression, and trying to become a real writer. There might be some swearing, too. No nudity though.

What does all this mean?

Damned if I know.